Our Break Room

At the grocery store, I couldn’t understand why free-range eggs were more expensive than ordinary eggs. “Well, sir, think of it as being like your cell phone,” explained the checkout clerk. “They get you with roaming charges.”

(Joke contributed by Eddie Brewster From the Readers Digest)

Without geometry, life is pointless.
When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
Dijon vu – the same mustard as before

Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
What’s the definition of a will?  (Come on, it’s a dead giveaway!)
A backwards poet writes inverse.

A woman is in the delivery room in labor. Suddenly, she shouts, “Couldn’t! Don’t! Wouldn’t! Haven’t!” Her husband is startled and asked the doctor, “What’s wrong with her?” The doctor replies, “Oh nothing, those are just contractions.”

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn’t concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as lumberjack, but I just could not hack it, so they gave me the ax

After that I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

Then I tried to be a chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience.

My next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn’t fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job as working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

So I got up the nerve to apply here and after a few adjustments, feel I am back were I belong!